Growing in God

So, last year at around this time, I wrote a blog post telling you guys about my goals for 2015. Well, let me just say HOLY CHEESE ITS!! I actually accomplished all of my goals for 2015! I, honestly, was not sure it was going to be possible, but God got me through it and made the impossible, possible. My first goal for 2015, was to help my mom beat cancer. And PRAISE GOD, my mom kicked cancers butt and sent it packing right out the door! She has been in remission since August and we are so thankful and feel so blessed! I am also just so happy to see her finally feeling good again and back to herself. Also, with having a granddaughter, my mom definitely is glowing and so happy! So God is definitely good on that front. The other goal I had for myself was to find a job and start really being more independent and take care of myself more. And yes, I did find a job. I was offered the job in the middle of July, and started in September. I work for a Before and After School Daycare Progra...

For such a long time, I was feeling like such a failure at life. I had lost all my self worth and honestly did not really care anymore. I felt I was just a fat, useless, piece of crap that couldn't get a job, was stuck in my body, and couldn't do anything. I felt like such a disappointment and like a failure to my family. I could feel how upset they were with me and I could tell they all were disappointed. And I was stuck in such a rut for so long. I, honestly, thought I would never measure up to anything and like my life was just a waste and I was just a hopeless cause. I never thought I would ever feel proud of myself and just continue to live a sucky life. I felt like no matter how hard I tried to better my life, it just wound up back in failure. Now, I, finally, feel like things are changing for the better. I am now feeling like I am getting my life together and I am starting to become a better person. I feel like I am on the road to living the fulfilling life that I want...

Hello everyone! It has been awhile since my last post. The last time I even made a post was the day before I had my Gastric Sleeve Surgery, and now I am 3 weeks post op. How crazy! So, definitely time for some updating! To start off, I am feeling really good! I am not having any pain, and really have not had any pain for awhile now. The actual surgery pain was not so bad, it was controlled pretty well with the meds. And once I was home from the hospital I was able to manage with just some Tylenol every one in awhile. The bad pain was the gas pain! I had a lot of gas pain, and it took about a week for that to completely subside. And I did use a lot of meds to help the gas, and I also did a lot of walking. Walking is truly the best medicine for gas pain! Second off, it is amazing the changes I have made and that I am seeing. It was so crazy to me that eating anything just sounded so disgusting for so long. It took probably a good week and a half before food even sounded good or looke...

Oh my goodness everyone! My Gastric Sleeve Surgery is TOMORROW, September 14 at 12:30pm! I am super nervous as there are some unknowns as to how I am going to feel and how recovery will be. But I am also super excited for the journey ahead and to live a healthier, happier, and better life. I know it won't be easy and it will be a lot of hard work, but I am ready for the lifestyle change and am determined to succeed! I serve a big God and I know he will guiding the surgeons hands and laying his healing hands on me as the all mighty healer! He will also be guiding me and holding me through this entire journey. Its crazy to think that I began this crazy journey back in May and now the day is already here! Let me tell you what has all happened in this journey. My very first appointment was a seminar. At this seminar, my surgeon, Dr. Schram, talked about the 3 different options for weight loss surgery and all the benefits, risks, and what they all entail. Then after the seminar was ov...

Remember when I said I was feeling hopeful in my last blog post? Well...lets just say those hopes have turned into some HUGE Praise God's!! First off, the really great big praise God thing is about my Mom, and she is officially in REMISSION! Yes, that means she is now CANCER FREE! So, at this point she will be going into the doctor every 3 months just to have her blood work and make sure everything is still going good. The reality is that there is a 60% chance of the cancer returning. But, as for now, she is cancer free and that is all we care about. And if it comes back, we will worry about it then and not worry about it now. And, obviously, we serve a really big God that she is already in remission before we even hit the one year mark, so I believe that God can also keep her in remission until she hits the 10 year mark and is considered a cure! So, basically, that is the big prayer is that the cancer never returns! Second, I GOT A JOB! Yes, that's right, I finally have go...

Well, hello everyone! Long time, no blog! Yeah, my bad. But there really has not been much for me to write about until now. You see, I have some updates to talk to you guys about and about some life changes and growth and that I have some high hopes on things. Just have lots to go over! So I will get started. First off, my mom is in the final stretches of her cancer treatment! Right now, she is currently undergoing chemotherapy and is in the middle of her 3rd round of chemo. After she is done with this next round they will be doing a cat scan of her chest and abdomen just to see what things look like and how if things are working like they are supposed to. And if the cat scan comes back looking clear my mom could be done with chemo, or maybe just have to have only 1 more round! And considering there was not anything visible when my mom had surgery, I am pretty hopeful that the cat scan will look clear and she will be done with chemo. So, definitely be praying a lot that the cat scan ...

It is Summer! Granted, the only difference in Summer from any other time of the year for me is the fact that my brother is out of school and the fact we actually have a few vacations planned. Also, the big thing with summer is the warmer weather and the fact I can go to the beach and things like that! So what are my plans for this summer? Well... First off, we do have a couple of family trips planned for the summer. Number one is we are going camping at a small local campground, and we actually will be doing that in a couple of days and will be gone just for like 4 days. The next vacation is we plan on going Up North to stay at a cottage on a small lake for a week, and we leave for that on June 27 and will be coming home on the 4th of July. The last family vacation we have planned is in August. And we are going to be going camping at Ludington State Park and plan on being gone just for a few days there. And we are all very excited for all of our vacations as they will be a nice escap...

Alright. Time for some serious updating on my life. And a big step I am about to take and embark on. This past Monday, May 11. I went for a physical with my Doctor. And I had her make a referral for me to see a Bariatric Surgeon. A what? A Surgeon that specializes in weight loss surgery. That's right. I am going to be beginning the process of having Gastric Bypass Surgery. For those of you who don't know, I have struggled with my weight for most of my life. I have seen Endocrinologists, Dietitians, Nutritionists, done different weight lost programs such as Weight Watchers, I did one called MPower, and another one called Weigh Down Workshop. I have tried many things. Some of them would be successful in the beginning and I would start off losing weight, and then at some point I would fall off the bandwagon and gain it back. And I have had my doctors recommend Gastric Bypass to me before, several times. But I didn't want to have surgery and would just ignore the suggestion. ...

Ok, right from the beginning of this post you might think I am nuts! I mean, how the heck is life always good? There is so much crap going on all the time. For example, riots in Baltimore, an Earth Quake in Nepal, Cancer, job issues, personal issues, the list is endless! But, here is the thing, in the middle of all the crap, there is so much beauty, and there is so much to be thankful for. A few nights ago I went for a walk to the beach with my mom. We happen to live really close to Lake Michigan, so we went to look at Lake Michigan for awhile. It was a beautiful night! It was cool, but the sun was shining, glistening over the water. And beams of light were shining through the clouds, creating beautiful colors in the sky. And the waves were gently rolling on the shore, creating that super soothing sound that people just love to listen to. And my mom and I were talking, and she said to me, "Yeah, this cancer thing sucks, but just look at what we are looking at right now. This is ...

Everyone has always told me how wonderful God's peace is. The thing is, I never fully understood it or fully felt it, until this past Wednesday, April 15. April 15, 2015 was the day of my mom's surgery for her cancer. Going into the day I had so many nerves and fears. I kept praying for God to take care of my mom, to work a miracle, and guide the doctors hands. When I sat in the waiting room, I first just kind of sat there nervously and kept fidgeting with things and moving around constantly. Then, I finally decided I needed to do something to get my mind off of my mom being in surgery. I pulled out my devotional book that I had brought along with me and began to read it. The first few pages had nice reminders and I continued to read, then I began to read verses and words and of wisdom that had to do with trusting God, relaxing in God's peace, and having faith in him. Suddenly, it hit me. I truly began to feel God's peace. I finished reading, closed my eyes and just b...

Hello! So, being someone that takes care of kids a lot, and loves working with kids, and has worked with kids for a long time, I decided it would make a good blog post to give advice to people who babysit, nanny, or work with kids in some other way. Now, I am aware that ever child care situation is different, but this tends to just be what works for me. It may not work for you, and that is ok, but I figured this would just be some good advice for those starting out and some tips and things you can try. #1- Most importantly, show the kids that you love them, care about them, and respect them. You want a kid to respond to you in the best way possible, show them that you are there because you love them, and care about them, and want to help them grow and learn in the best way possible. Kids are pretty intuitive and they can tell if you don't like them, and will act like the kid you think they are. So if you treat them like they are a rotten child and show that to them, they will ac...

Hey everyone! So...it has been a little too long since my last post. BUT this one I think will make up for it! I have a possibility for something I am going to be doing this summer! This past Sunday evening, I decided to relax by watching a movie on Netflix. So, I was searching through the movies and came across a movie called Camp . This is a small, low budget movie, but is not too bad, it is pretty good. It is about this little boy named, Eli, who was abused in his home, and was put into a foster home and then got sent to a 1 week camp over the summer. It also is about a business man, named, Ken, who decides to be a counselor at the camp in order to win over someone he is looking into partnering with in his business. And Eli and Ken end up getting paired together at camp, Ken, being Eli's personal counselor. And the movie just follows their week at camp and how they change and become better people throughout the week. Kind of a typical storyline that is predictab...

Ok, so this is a post I had to take awhile to think about. I was challenged to make this post by one of my cousins. At first, I wasn't sure if I was the right person to make this post, since I am struggling and on a journey of finding the person God is calling me to be. But then I realized, even if I can't give advice for people currently in college and how to survive college, I could give advice to people that are college aged and are trying to discover who it is God is calling them to be. So, that is what I am doing. Now, like I said, I can't really give advice on college, since I only went to 2 days of college. And the reason for that is a whole blog post of its own, so lets just say I ran into some issues, some could have been fixed, but there was one big thing I could not really do a lot about. But, here is the deal, continuing your education in some way, definitely is an important thing. For a majority of people, that means going to college, for others it is going t...

I decided it was time I make a more fun post, something just a little less serious. I have another serious post brewing in my mind, but I want to get that post down on paper and process all my thoughts before I make it official! So, in the meantime, here is a more fun subject! Are of any you an Aunt or an Uncle? Well, technically, I'm not. My older sister and her husband do not have kids, yet, and my younger brother is still in High School and smart enough to wait to have kids. But, I do have a cousin, who is more like a sister to me than a cousin, and she has 3 kids who all consider me to be their "Auntie Tori". And I love it! I also have another cousin, who is like a big brother to me, and him and his wife have a little boy that I kind of consider to be like a nephew, too. And let me tell you, even though I am not for real auntie, being an honorary one, is just as amazing! Kids, honestly, just bring so much joy and laughter. Yes, kids are not always bundles of fun, ...

So, lately I have been thinking back on my High School experience and things that I wish I did and advice I wish I knew before I even started High School. I also have just been thinking about if I really enjoyed High School or not and just what it was like for me. In all honesty, High School was actually a pretty good experience for me. I mean, it had its moments where I just wanted it to be over with, but over all it really was not so bad, but I did learn some things that I do wish people told me about before I was in High School. So, I am going to share those things with all of you, and this advice will be great for those who are in High School or are about to start High School. First and foremost, give your best effort 100% of the time, not just when you realize you are a junior and you need to get your grades up in order to get into a decent college. I will be honest, I did not give my best effort my freshman year. My grades were not that great and I do wish I had tried harder my...

Ok, this was a post that I just decided was needed to make. And basically, I am going to tell you all what most days are like for me, and all it is I do in a day. Yes, right now, I do not have a job, but I am trying really hard to find one! So, I usually spend some time job searching and filling out applications. Some days I babysit my niece and nephew in the afternoon or morning for a couple of hours. I get the groceries myself if it is a day my mom is not feeling good, but if my mom is feeling good we both go out together. On Wednesdays I have Kids Hope and go to mentor my student. I do pretty much all the cleaning around the house, my mom does like to help me a little bit if she can, but most of the time she can't. Me and my mom cook supper together right now, sometimes I even do all the cooking if my mom just is not feeling up to it. I take care of the dishes and the after supper clean up. Right now me and my mom do the laundry together. I gather it all up and bring it to the l...

In going through this cancer journey with my mom, most days are very tough and I just sit and think about how much I want this to be over with and how much I want everything to be ok and how much I want life to just be back to normal. But, then, there are days when I am reminded just how good God really is and that he has everything under control. The biggest way I have been show that, is just through all the love and support from friends, family, and even complete strangers. My family did a big fundraiser for my mom back in December where they raised money and for every $100 raised, someone in my family shaved their head. And when we reached the $1000 mark, my cousin, Heather shaved her head! It was so amazing to see all the love and support and we just turned it into a super fun night of shaving, laughing, smiling, and enjoying each others company. Over $1500 was raised for my mom to help with medical bills with that fundraiser! And it just reminded me that I am ...

Social media is a great thing. Heck, I am using it at this very moment to write this blog post. But if there is one thing I have learned about social media, always be careful about what you post on any sort of social media site. Because here is the reason: once you do it, its out there, and there is nothing you can do to keep it from spreading, even if you delete it. When I was like middle school aged through maybe my sophomore year of High School. I was not always so great about the things I posted. A majority of it was just random harmless stuff, but there was the occasional thing that would just be completely stupid. And it would always come back to bite me. Even if it is a video on youtube, it can come back to bite you. You might be wondering why I am even making this post, well there is a girl that I am friends with on facebook, who is my age, who posts every piece of drama that goes on her life on facebook and then has the audacity to get mad when people react and make comments ...

I just started reading a book that my mom got my for Christmas. Here is the title: Becoming Myself: Embracing God's Dream of You by: Stasi Eldredge. So far I have gotten through the first 2 chapters, and no I am not a slow reader. I am taking my time with this book, being sure to underline things I like and taking notes in one of my notebooks about what the book is trying to tell me, and what God is trying to tell me. So far, I have found a lot of really good lines that have really touched me. My favorite one being: "I may disappoint, but I am not a disappointment. I fail, but I am not a failure." This line just has reminded me that I may do things from time to time that I fail at or I disappoint someone, but so does everyone else around me. The main thing to remember is just because that happens, does not mean that it defines me. I am NOT a disappointment and I am NOT a failure. There have been many other words that have touched me as well, so far. But I will post ju...

When you find out someone you love has cancer, there are so many thoughts and emotions. When the doctor first came in the room, after removing my moms gall bladder, and told me and my aunt that she had cancer, I literally went numb. I felt as if a ton of brick dropped on top of me and I was just stuck underneath them. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I lost it, crying, barely taking a breath in between sobs. The pain, is indescribable. You can't truly understand it, unless you are going through it. I could try to tell you all I want what it feels like, but you cannot truly understand it, unless you go through it yourself. I barely remember what happened after the doctor told us. I remember holding my aunt tight. I remember trying to call people, but being unable to, so my aunt made the calls. I remember walking up to my moms hospital room. But that is it. I then remember crying so much I gave myself a nasty headache and I remember try...

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all stayed safe and had a fun new year! Thinking back on 2014, and boy was it crazy. It started out amazing. I had a nanny job that I loved and I was able to support myself some and I was finally feeling more independent in life. I did Kids Hope and loved that, I was helping out at church and doing things at church from time to time. My mom started a new job. Life was good and was coming together and I really had no major complaints. Heck, we even survived one of the nastiest winters in Michigan, in my lifetime. Then spring rolled around. My nephew, Jackson, was welcomed into the world! I love that boy to pieces. I had a cousin who got diagnosed with potential Ovarian Cancer, but then we saw God work a miracle and it was found the tumor was benign and there was no cancer! How amazing!! But then, at the end of the school year, I was told I was no longer needed as a nanny for the kids I was watching. At that time it wasn't a super huge...