Finally Feeling Good!

For such a long time, I was feeling like such a failure at life. I had lost all my self worth and honestly did not really care anymore. I felt I was just a fat, useless, piece of crap that couldn't get a job, was stuck in my body, and couldn't do anything. I felt like such a disappointment and like a failure to my family. I could feel how upset they were with me and I could tell they all were disappointed. And I was stuck in such a rut for so long. I, honestly, thought I would never measure up to anything and like my life was just a waste and I was just a hopeless cause. I never thought I would ever feel proud of myself and just continue to live a sucky life. I felt like no matter how hard I tried to better my life, it just wound up back in failure. Now, I, finally, feel like things are changing for the better.

I am now feeling like I am getting my life together and I am starting to become a better person. I feel like I am on the road to living the fulfilling life that I want to live. I have a job that I love and am really happy at. And my health is beginning to really take a turn for the better, too.

As far as having the job goes. It is helping me to finally feel like I can be more independent. I plan on getting back on track with paying my mom for my phone every month. My mom has also talked to me about starting to help pay for my car insurance, which I told her I have no problem with. Also am starting to really pay for all of my personal things, myself. As in if I go out to eat, I pay for it, not my parents. I pay when we go places, I pay for my gas. The feeling of finally being able to really do those kinds of things, feels so good. Granted, having to pay for things also kind of sucks, but it is part of life and part of being a grown up, so I am fine with it. Besides, I don't think there is anyone in existence that would say that they just love to spend away their hard earned money! Most people cringe at the thought, even when it is for necessities. Anyways, in a nutshell, I am finally starting to gain some true independence and I am so happy with that!

And also, I am finally starting to gain a better self worth in myself in the aspect of my weight and health. For the first time ever in my life, I feel like I am actually successful at losing weight and like "getting skinny" is actually possible. I, so far, am down 73 pounds!! I feel so proud of myself and am feeling so much better as things are starting to get easier for me and I am also just, overall, feeling so good! I finally feel in control of my eating habits, as I constantly have to think about the things I eat and how much I eat and how fast I eat. I love this feeling of control. I also love feeling like I am successful! My clothes are not fitting and I love it! Well, from the standpoint of it means I am really losing weight, not from the standpoint of it means I am going to need to spend yet more money on clothes. But yet even that is slightly exciting as I will be getting smaller sizes! This whole Gastric Sleeve thing is not always easy, but it is worth it, and I, currently, have absolutely no regrets!

To end, in general I am feeling so happy with myself and proud of myself. I am really feeling like I am bettering my life and starting to live such a fulfilling and meaningful life. I feel like I am starting to make, not only myself proud of me, but my family proud of me. I am starting to realize that God truly does have so much in store for me and I just gotta keep on pressing forward. I am hoping as time goes on and as I continue on this journey of bettering my life, that things just keep getting better. I know God knows the plans he has for me. And I am just beginning to see them unfold. I am so happy with myself right now! I cannot thank God enough for blessing me so much and showing me he had so much more in store for me. And I am sure he has even more ahead for me that I cannot wait to discover and learn!

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