Panniculectomy: It Was Worth It! I feel SO GOOD!

I had my panniculectomy! If you don't know what that is, it is a surgery to remove extra hanging skin from the stomach. I had my surgery on March 19, and everything went very well. Surgery was around 3 hours long, and I remained at the hospital for a couple of hours after that just so I could wake up more. Also, they wanted to make sure my drains were not draining too much. Once all was good, I went on home to my Aunt's house. I stayed with her so she could help me out, since I really did not want my Dad and brother's help.

First off, this surgery was definitely more challenging than I initially anticipated. My surgeon kept telling me it would be fairly similar to my arms. And I breezed through my arm surgery, it was a piece of cake and I had very little pain and I healed super well and quite fast. Well, this was different. This was my stomach. And everything was so tight at first, that I was walking hunched over like a little old lady, because it was too tight for me to be straight. Overall I didn't have much pain and what pain I had was managed with tylenol. It would hurt the most when I would go to stand up and then when I would sit back down. The day after was the hardest. After that, each day got just a little bit better. The worst part of the whole thing was the drains! They were so annoying and mine kept leaking, which was super annoying.

Second, after about a week and a half post op, my drains finally came out and so did my staples. Talk about a sense of relief! The staples coming out really made movement easier and there was a lot less pulling and tugging sensations. And the drains coming out felt super good, too!

Third, well, I hit a bump in the road in the recovery process. I ended up developing and infection. And it was nasty. I was so swollen, my whole left side was red, and there were a couple of spots that looked pretty gross. My surgeon put me on an antibiotic, and a few days later, came the worst part of the whole process. My infection started draining. And by draining, I mean puss was pouring out of me. I mean pouring uncontrollably!! It was so gross and so frustrating to deal with. I had a hard time keeping my clothes from getting gross. We ended up taping a baby diaper to me to help absorb it, and that was the only thing that worked well. And when I took a shower, I took extra time in the shower, just to sit and massage the area and work as much of the junk out as possible. And I even stuffed wash cloths in my underwear to absorb junk and keep my clothing from getting gross. I had a couple of meltdowns over it and was so frustrated. I couldn't go anywhere or do anything in fear of it leaking and embarrassing me. And even at home I felt like all I could do was sit in the tub because otherwise I was just making a mess everywhere. But after a few days, it finally started to slow down and become more manageable. And after about a week and half, it was finally done draining altogether. And now, I just have band aids over the spots while they finish closing up so my pants and underwear don't rub on them. And I finally feel great.

Which gets me to this point. Was it all worth it? YES! It was very worth it! I already feel such a huge difference in having the skin off of me. I had 7.5 pounds of skin removed from me, which when you think about it, that's a baby! That is quite a bit of weight. And I have not been having any back pain issues! It has been great! And also, no more having to deal with keeping areas dry to prevent rashes! It is so flat! I AM SO FLAT! I have never been flat in my life. I finally feel skinny and I look skinny. I feel so amazing about myself and love my body and love myself. I look in the mirror, and actually love what I see. Whereas before, I would look in the mirror and still see the person that was fat and ugly. Now I see the true me and person I always have been, even when I couldn't see it before. I feel so good and so happy. I have even just started getting back into working out, and even doing exercises feels so much easier and better and feels so good! I love it! And total, since having this surgery, I have lost 10 pounds! My current weight is 171, which puts me at a total of 230 pounds of weight loss. It is so crazy to me. And just thinking of how far I have come, I can't even believe it!

Now, I also have been working on myself, mentally a lot since the beginning of the year. And I feel like I am beginning to make some progress, because I am even feeling better from that standpoint as well. I will be honest and say I do go see a counselor. At first I was a little ashamed of that, but I have come to realize I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have been through a lot and have had a lot crazy changes in my life. So much so, that I was losing sight of just who I was. And now, I am beginning to figure it out. I am continuing to work on it, though. As I know I still have more work to do, but at least I can already feel a difference in myself. I am so happy and proud of myself, and that is what is important. I am a fighter and I just keep fighting through all of life's ups and downs! And I lean on God to guide me through it all. That is one area I felt I was losing sight of as well, and I am even working more on my faith walk, as well. Definitely have felt myself getting a lot more positive in this last month, and I am going to continue it. And I won't let anyone bring me down or stop me! All I can say is, go God, and amaze me as I continue in this journey of life and in learning this new me and going forward in this new life!

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