Lets Be Real!
Alright, let's be real here for a moment. I get praised and congratulated all of the time for my weight loss success and everyone I feel sees me as this person who does everything perfect and everything just right. Well, I am human, I am not perfect. In fact, I am far from perfect. I struggle, I have gains here and there, and I get off track. It happens. So, you know what, lets talk about how not perfect I am. Let me be real about where I am at right now in this journey.
For starters, for a long time, I was on such a solid routine and I really didn't have too many struggles. Yes, my weight loss slowed down a lot, but it was kind of expected since my body I think is definitely reaching its "comfort zone" so to speak. But I was maintaining, with the occasional loss here and there. And here is the thing. I had a very good eating routine going, and I was super active. At my job, I was constantly moving and constantly busy and doing things. I rarely sat down and took a break. And if I was sitting, I was busy doing things while I was sitting. And when I was sitting, it definitely wouldn't last long before I was up and moving again. And, there was a time where I was working out pretty regularly on top of that. So, I think, in general, I was maintaining a pretty darn healthy lifestyle.
Well, now lets look at my life in the last month or so. I no longer have my job I had. So right now I am struggling BIG TIME with the activity part of this journey. Because for one, with not having that job, I don't have the huge piece of activity I had daily. And the other thing, its winter in Michigan and I live in a condo. I feel kind of stuck when it comes to activity. Because either it is just too darn cold to be going out for walks or there is just too much darn snow that you can't get through anything and it is also very slippery. Also, not to mention, I don't live near any nice parks to walk at or anything, so I have to go drive to different places in order to go walk anywhere. But, again, it being winter, those places are not always plowed out, so there is not always a place for my car to be parked. I try hard to get some activity in every day. I have my Country Heat Workout that I do almost every day. And if I don't do that, I go in my room, turn on some music and I dance around. I also will play music while I am cleaning and doing things around the condo to try and get myself to move more while I am doing it. So, I try hard, but it just is not the same. I know, by looking at my fitbit, that I am not getting anywhere near the amount of activity I was getting when I had my job. And I am struggling big time with that, because I want to be more active, I really do, I am dying to be more active, I hate sitting around. But it is just so hard this time of year. If it were spring, summer, or even fall, I would go out for a walk like every day and even go to some trails and parks to hike around and stuff. But during the winter it's very hard to be able to do that.
Here is the other thing that has been thrown out of whack. My eating routine. I had such a solid and pretty healthy eating routine going for myself. I loved it and was proud of it. But since the holidays hit and since I have been home way more, my eating has not been the same nice routine I had. And I have been struggling. There have even been times where I thought I was doing great with my eating, but then I did my weekly weigh in and there was barely anything to show for it. So, this last week, I have been tracking what I have been eating every day by taking pictures of it just to help myself really look at what I have been eating and reflect on it. And holy freaking cheese crackers! I am really beginning to see where my issue is. For one, I definitely have been letting the carbs sneak in just a little too much. I seriously need to get back into my habit of eating mostly protein with some fruits and veggies and only carbs once in awhile. Also, I think I maybe have been letting my portions creep up just a bit, and I need to get myself back into eating slightly smaller portions. And I need to be better at listening to my body and my stomach restriction at stopping when I am comfortably full and not super uncomfortably full. Also, because of the holidays, I know I was letting myself have treats way too often and I was even doing things like buying crap at the store just because I was like "it's the holidays, why not?" And I really need to get back into better self discipline and not bring crap into the house anymore and not let temptation win.
So, now you know where I have been failing lately. You know that I have had my struggles. And let me be real about something else. During the month of December, I gained about 6 pounds. Which, I know isn't awful, but for someone who was once a 401 pound person, that terrified me. I am terrified of going back to where I was. I don't ever want to be that horrible over weight person again. I don't ever want to feel that awful again. I am loving the way I am feeling now and that I can do anything I want and wear anything I want. I love the confidence I have gained and so much more. So, that is why I am being real with myself and all of you. Because since it is the new year, I need to find my new routine, kick myself in the butt, use some better self discipline, and really get myself back on track. And I need all of you to help keep me accountable and help kick me in the rear. Tell me to stop if you see me reaching for food I don't need or shouldn't eat. Help me make better choices. Call me up and ask me to go out an do things with you to stay active and get my butt moving. Motivate me and help me out.
So, to some it up, having this weight loss surgery is not an end all fix all. It is an amazing tool, but you have to use the tool right in order for it to work properly. It's like being handed a shovel and being told to dig a hole. You will successfully dig the hole if you use the correct end of the shovel. But if you use the wrong end of the shovel, your hole won't ever get dug. And this is always a journey and always a process. It is always something to work at. And if you have ever dealt with weight struggles at all, you know exactly where I am coming from. You know that it is always a daily struggle dealing with food and being healthy. This journey is just that, a journey. And it is a difficult one. Always learning new things along the way and figuring things out a little at a time. You even learn new things about your own body you never knew before. Things both physically and mentally. I have learned so much about myself both physically and mentally along this journey and there are always things I am trying to work on. And its hard and there are days when I just want to curl up in a ball and cry and hide away from the world. I will be honest and even admit that I have had days where I have refused to eat hardly anything except for little bits here and there because I have gotten mad at myself. And then later I realize how stupid I am when I am feeling lousy because I have no energy because I haven't given my body the proper fuel it needs. This journey is tough, and I am not perfect at it. And will never be perfect at it. I will do great at times, and I will have times of failure. That is just life in general. No one is perfect. And I have had to learn to not beat myself up, but instead, just pick myself back up and start over again and learn from my failures and mistakes.
So, to end, where am I going from here? Well, doing just what I said I have had to learn to do, pick myself back up and start again. I need to seriously cut back on my carbs. Which means very little use of bread and potatoes, and only use my protein pasta but just once in awhile. I also decided I am going to start doing a little meal prepping. Meaning I am going to cook up some healthy treats and food options that will just be at the ready for me to use and have to eat when I need it. Also, I am going to be MUCH better at my grocery shopping and get back into getting healthy foods and walking away from the junk and not letting temptation win. And what "junk" I do buy is going to only be stuff I know my Dad and brother will eat, but I will not. Also, I need to really be more self-disciplined about my portions and be better at listening to my body when I need to stop eating. Lastly, as far as activity goes, I am going to continue doing what I am doing, and try to work as hard as I can at being as active as I can, and hopefully, I will have a new job soon to help out with that a little bit. So that is where I am at. And help, suggestions, recipes, anything you want to give me I am all open for! Definitely keep me accountable and motivate me any way you can. This journey is easier the more support I have! Oh, and, of course, I am going to lean on God for His continuous strength and guidance in this journey. Because, without Him, none of this would be possible! Thank-you!
For starters, for a long time, I was on such a solid routine and I really didn't have too many struggles. Yes, my weight loss slowed down a lot, but it was kind of expected since my body I think is definitely reaching its "comfort zone" so to speak. But I was maintaining, with the occasional loss here and there. And here is the thing. I had a very good eating routine going, and I was super active. At my job, I was constantly moving and constantly busy and doing things. I rarely sat down and took a break. And if I was sitting, I was busy doing things while I was sitting. And when I was sitting, it definitely wouldn't last long before I was up and moving again. And, there was a time where I was working out pretty regularly on top of that. So, I think, in general, I was maintaining a pretty darn healthy lifestyle.
Well, now lets look at my life in the last month or so. I no longer have my job I had. So right now I am struggling BIG TIME with the activity part of this journey. Because for one, with not having that job, I don't have the huge piece of activity I had daily. And the other thing, its winter in Michigan and I live in a condo. I feel kind of stuck when it comes to activity. Because either it is just too darn cold to be going out for walks or there is just too much darn snow that you can't get through anything and it is also very slippery. Also, not to mention, I don't live near any nice parks to walk at or anything, so I have to go drive to different places in order to go walk anywhere. But, again, it being winter, those places are not always plowed out, so there is not always a place for my car to be parked. I try hard to get some activity in every day. I have my Country Heat Workout that I do almost every day. And if I don't do that, I go in my room, turn on some music and I dance around. I also will play music while I am cleaning and doing things around the condo to try and get myself to move more while I am doing it. So, I try hard, but it just is not the same. I know, by looking at my fitbit, that I am not getting anywhere near the amount of activity I was getting when I had my job. And I am struggling big time with that, because I want to be more active, I really do, I am dying to be more active, I hate sitting around. But it is just so hard this time of year. If it were spring, summer, or even fall, I would go out for a walk like every day and even go to some trails and parks to hike around and stuff. But during the winter it's very hard to be able to do that.
Here is the other thing that has been thrown out of whack. My eating routine. I had such a solid and pretty healthy eating routine going for myself. I loved it and was proud of it. But since the holidays hit and since I have been home way more, my eating has not been the same nice routine I had. And I have been struggling. There have even been times where I thought I was doing great with my eating, but then I did my weekly weigh in and there was barely anything to show for it. So, this last week, I have been tracking what I have been eating every day by taking pictures of it just to help myself really look at what I have been eating and reflect on it. And holy freaking cheese crackers! I am really beginning to see where my issue is. For one, I definitely have been letting the carbs sneak in just a little too much. I seriously need to get back into my habit of eating mostly protein with some fruits and veggies and only carbs once in awhile. Also, I think I maybe have been letting my portions creep up just a bit, and I need to get myself back into eating slightly smaller portions. And I need to be better at listening to my body and my stomach restriction at stopping when I am comfortably full and not super uncomfortably full. Also, because of the holidays, I know I was letting myself have treats way too often and I was even doing things like buying crap at the store just because I was like "it's the holidays, why not?" And I really need to get back into better self discipline and not bring crap into the house anymore and not let temptation win.
So, now you know where I have been failing lately. You know that I have had my struggles. And let me be real about something else. During the month of December, I gained about 6 pounds. Which, I know isn't awful, but for someone who was once a 401 pound person, that terrified me. I am terrified of going back to where I was. I don't ever want to be that horrible over weight person again. I don't ever want to feel that awful again. I am loving the way I am feeling now and that I can do anything I want and wear anything I want. I love the confidence I have gained and so much more. So, that is why I am being real with myself and all of you. Because since it is the new year, I need to find my new routine, kick myself in the butt, use some better self discipline, and really get myself back on track. And I need all of you to help keep me accountable and help kick me in the rear. Tell me to stop if you see me reaching for food I don't need or shouldn't eat. Help me make better choices. Call me up and ask me to go out an do things with you to stay active and get my butt moving. Motivate me and help me out.
So, to some it up, having this weight loss surgery is not an end all fix all. It is an amazing tool, but you have to use the tool right in order for it to work properly. It's like being handed a shovel and being told to dig a hole. You will successfully dig the hole if you use the correct end of the shovel. But if you use the wrong end of the shovel, your hole won't ever get dug. And this is always a journey and always a process. It is always something to work at. And if you have ever dealt with weight struggles at all, you know exactly where I am coming from. You know that it is always a daily struggle dealing with food and being healthy. This journey is just that, a journey. And it is a difficult one. Always learning new things along the way and figuring things out a little at a time. You even learn new things about your own body you never knew before. Things both physically and mentally. I have learned so much about myself both physically and mentally along this journey and there are always things I am trying to work on. And its hard and there are days when I just want to curl up in a ball and cry and hide away from the world. I will be honest and even admit that I have had days where I have refused to eat hardly anything except for little bits here and there because I have gotten mad at myself. And then later I realize how stupid I am when I am feeling lousy because I have no energy because I haven't given my body the proper fuel it needs. This journey is tough, and I am not perfect at it. And will never be perfect at it. I will do great at times, and I will have times of failure. That is just life in general. No one is perfect. And I have had to learn to not beat myself up, but instead, just pick myself back up and start over again and learn from my failures and mistakes.
So, to end, where am I going from here? Well, doing just what I said I have had to learn to do, pick myself back up and start again. I need to seriously cut back on my carbs. Which means very little use of bread and potatoes, and only use my protein pasta but just once in awhile. I also decided I am going to start doing a little meal prepping. Meaning I am going to cook up some healthy treats and food options that will just be at the ready for me to use and have to eat when I need it. Also, I am going to be MUCH better at my grocery shopping and get back into getting healthy foods and walking away from the junk and not letting temptation win. And what "junk" I do buy is going to only be stuff I know my Dad and brother will eat, but I will not. Also, I need to really be more self-disciplined about my portions and be better at listening to my body when I need to stop eating. Lastly, as far as activity goes, I am going to continue doing what I am doing, and try to work as hard as I can at being as active as I can, and hopefully, I will have a new job soon to help out with that a little bit. So that is where I am at. And help, suggestions, recipes, anything you want to give me I am all open for! Definitely keep me accountable and motivate me any way you can. This journey is easier the more support I have! Oh, and, of course, I am going to lean on God for His continuous strength and guidance in this journey. Because, without Him, none of this would be possible! Thank-you!
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