Grieving: Learning a "New Normal"
Let me tell you, grieving sucks. Period. I would never wish for my worst enemy to have to deal with this kind of pain. Not having my Mom around hurts so much and I miss her so much. There is not a moment that goes by where I don't think about her and wish I could have her back with me. But in the middle of all my hurt and grieving, I am having to learn a "new normal" and learn to do life without her in it. And it has been hard.
When my Mom died, I immediately stepped right into her shoes. I took over and started trying to be her. I have been doing all the cleaning, the laundry, the shopping, and also keeping up with everything going on regarding my brother's school. I have felt the need to kind of take over and make sure the house stays in order and that my brother continues to succeed in school. On top of that, I still work and have other commitments and things I have to do. And, in all honesty, I have been exhausting myself trying to keep up with it all. I have come to my point where I physically can't do it anymore because I am just too exhausted to keep up with it. Also, I am being too worried about everyone else, that I am not taking care of myself. So, I have started going to see my behaviorist at my bariatric office. I have only seen her once so far, but she gave me a few things to try and I am going to see her again in two weeks to see how they help me. She is working with me to help me get through this part of my life so I can continue to succeed in my weight loss and take the time to take care of myself. I also have been doing a lot more praying and diving into God's word as well. Spending that little bit of time with God helps bring me some peace and comfort to get through each day. Little by little I am working my way towards healing. I am also getting into a pretty good routine and that helps, too. And so far, my weight loss is going pretty good throughout all this.
The other thing is, my Dad was not grieving very well at all. He has not been reaching out to people and he even got to the point where he started a relationship with a woman online. And if you know my dad at all, you know that that is not like him at all. So ended up having to do a little intervention and call him out on it and bring it to light for him. That way he could see how it was affecting me and my siblings and that we were really concerned about him and that we felt like we had lost both of our parents. It really helped to talk with him. And now my dad is FINALLY, one month after my mom's death, taking steps in the right direction with his grieving and is heading towards healing. It literally has taken a huge load of stress off of my shoulders and has helped me with being able to work on my own struggles in the grieving process.
All in all, This last month has been very rough and difficult. I have had good days and bad days. I have had my breakdown moments where all I feel I can do is cry and be huddled up in my bed wrapped in blankets. But I just continue to take one day at a time as I learn what my new normal is and I figure out how to cope with the loss of my Mom. And in the midst of it, I know God is always here for me and with me every step of the way. I try my best to lean on Him and put all my faith and trust in Him, and to find my strength in Him. It is not easy, but I still try hard,
And that is my main advice to anyone going through similar circumstances. Take one day at a time, get what ever help it is you need to get through the grieving process, and just lean on God. Also just leaning on people you love and trust and confiding in them and asking for help is a huge thing, too. It will help to alleviate your stress, Though the pain will never fully go away, it will get less. For me, it hurts a lot still, but it has gotten a tiny bit better. God will get me through it, and will get you through it, too, if you are dealing with similar circumstances.
When my Mom died, I immediately stepped right into her shoes. I took over and started trying to be her. I have been doing all the cleaning, the laundry, the shopping, and also keeping up with everything going on regarding my brother's school. I have felt the need to kind of take over and make sure the house stays in order and that my brother continues to succeed in school. On top of that, I still work and have other commitments and things I have to do. And, in all honesty, I have been exhausting myself trying to keep up with it all. I have come to my point where I physically can't do it anymore because I am just too exhausted to keep up with it. Also, I am being too worried about everyone else, that I am not taking care of myself. So, I have started going to see my behaviorist at my bariatric office. I have only seen her once so far, but she gave me a few things to try and I am going to see her again in two weeks to see how they help me. She is working with me to help me get through this part of my life so I can continue to succeed in my weight loss and take the time to take care of myself. I also have been doing a lot more praying and diving into God's word as well. Spending that little bit of time with God helps bring me some peace and comfort to get through each day. Little by little I am working my way towards healing. I am also getting into a pretty good routine and that helps, too. And so far, my weight loss is going pretty good throughout all this.
The other thing is, my Dad was not grieving very well at all. He has not been reaching out to people and he even got to the point where he started a relationship with a woman online. And if you know my dad at all, you know that that is not like him at all. So ended up having to do a little intervention and call him out on it and bring it to light for him. That way he could see how it was affecting me and my siblings and that we were really concerned about him and that we felt like we had lost both of our parents. It really helped to talk with him. And now my dad is FINALLY, one month after my mom's death, taking steps in the right direction with his grieving and is heading towards healing. It literally has taken a huge load of stress off of my shoulders and has helped me with being able to work on my own struggles in the grieving process.
All in all, This last month has been very rough and difficult. I have had good days and bad days. I have had my breakdown moments where all I feel I can do is cry and be huddled up in my bed wrapped in blankets. But I just continue to take one day at a time as I learn what my new normal is and I figure out how to cope with the loss of my Mom. And in the midst of it, I know God is always here for me and with me every step of the way. I try my best to lean on Him and put all my faith and trust in Him, and to find my strength in Him. It is not easy, but I still try hard,
And that is my main advice to anyone going through similar circumstances. Take one day at a time, get what ever help it is you need to get through the grieving process, and just lean on God. Also just leaning on people you love and trust and confiding in them and asking for help is a huge thing, too. It will help to alleviate your stress, Though the pain will never fully go away, it will get less. For me, it hurts a lot still, but it has gotten a tiny bit better. God will get me through it, and will get you through it, too, if you are dealing with similar circumstances.
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