Doing it For Me!
As I continue to embark on this crazy journey called life, I have spent a lot of time trying to impress others, and make others proud of me. I, practically, have been trying to do this just for the approval of others and not necessarily to really make myself proud. I have been seeking to here the words "I'm proud of you". Well, I have a reached a point where I am done trying to impress others. And I need to focus more on doing this for me, and making myself happy and proud of where I am and how I am doing.
I, honestly, have just come to this conclusion just recently. I have been feeling like my family and friends have finally been feeling proud of me and like I am worth while. They have told me they are proud of me and happy for me and they can see how much happier I am. I have started to feel a sense of approval from them. But, just recently, I felt like I still was not making everyone proud of me. There are just a couple of people in my life who I have yet to hear anything like that from. Heck, they have barely to say a word to me about all I have accomplished recently. All I ever get from them is that they get frustrated when I am not "putting out my best". Well, what exactly is my best to them? Is all that I have accomplished recently still not my best? Am I still not good enough for them? It made me feel hurt and frustrated at first. But, after some time praying, I have come to a new conclusion.
It does not matter what other people think. All I know, is I am actually feeling PROUD OF MYSELF!! That is something I have never been able to say about myself before in my life. I am losing weight and getting healthy, and physically feeling so good. I also finally feel like I am starting to get somewhere with my finances. I am making money with my job and able to save up and pay for myself to go on a trip to Florida. I am paying some of my own things again, like my phone, my car, my gas, and other things like that. I am gaining a feeling of independence. I feel like I am making a difference every time I go to work and making the kids' lives just a little bit brighter. I am happy with MYSELF! And I have felt God tell me He also is proud of me and that he has me right where he wants me. So, really, I only need to be seeking to impress myself and God. Not anyone else. I need to stay true to God and His word, and let him continue to guide me and allow Him to continue to work in my life to make me even happier. I know I have come so far and God knows I have, too. That doesn't me there isn't still more to come and I don't still have things to work on, we all do. No matter how far we get in life, there is always areas that we can work on. But that doesn't mean we can't be proud of ourselves for where we are at in the moment.
The thing is, I have been letting what other people think of me, bring me down way too much. I need to just ignore those that don't think much of me, and continue pushing forward. I want to be the best I can be, but being the best I can be, does not mean what is the best in others eyes, but in my eyes and God's eyes. I really need to work more on letting go and letting God. Let go of the negativity in my life, and let God take hold of me and continue to shape my life for the better.
So, to anyone who thinks I am not "giving my best", I don't care what you think. I am giving my best every day. I am working hard to achieve my simple dreams, and every day trying to Let Go and Let God. I am know I am not perfect, and there is always room for improvement. But I am working hard, none the less. What matters is that I AM happy and proud of myself and feel like I am actually putting forth my best for the first time in my life. I finally feel alive and like I have a life. I am doing it for ME not you! If you don't like my life, tough, focus on your life and not mine! I know God knows the plans for my future and I am just trusting Him as I go on about each day of my life. And that's where I am ending this! I am no longer seeking the approval of others. Just God's and mine!
I, honestly, have just come to this conclusion just recently. I have been feeling like my family and friends have finally been feeling proud of me and like I am worth while. They have told me they are proud of me and happy for me and they can see how much happier I am. I have started to feel a sense of approval from them. But, just recently, I felt like I still was not making everyone proud of me. There are just a couple of people in my life who I have yet to hear anything like that from. Heck, they have barely to say a word to me about all I have accomplished recently. All I ever get from them is that they get frustrated when I am not "putting out my best". Well, what exactly is my best to them? Is all that I have accomplished recently still not my best? Am I still not good enough for them? It made me feel hurt and frustrated at first. But, after some time praying, I have come to a new conclusion.
It does not matter what other people think. All I know, is I am actually feeling PROUD OF MYSELF!! That is something I have never been able to say about myself before in my life. I am losing weight and getting healthy, and physically feeling so good. I also finally feel like I am starting to get somewhere with my finances. I am making money with my job and able to save up and pay for myself to go on a trip to Florida. I am paying some of my own things again, like my phone, my car, my gas, and other things like that. I am gaining a feeling of independence. I feel like I am making a difference every time I go to work and making the kids' lives just a little bit brighter. I am happy with MYSELF! And I have felt God tell me He also is proud of me and that he has me right where he wants me. So, really, I only need to be seeking to impress myself and God. Not anyone else. I need to stay true to God and His word, and let him continue to guide me and allow Him to continue to work in my life to make me even happier. I know I have come so far and God knows I have, too. That doesn't me there isn't still more to come and I don't still have things to work on, we all do. No matter how far we get in life, there is always areas that we can work on. But that doesn't mean we can't be proud of ourselves for where we are at in the moment.
The thing is, I have been letting what other people think of me, bring me down way too much. I need to just ignore those that don't think much of me, and continue pushing forward. I want to be the best I can be, but being the best I can be, does not mean what is the best in others eyes, but in my eyes and God's eyes. I really need to work more on letting go and letting God. Let go of the negativity in my life, and let God take hold of me and continue to shape my life for the better.
So, to anyone who thinks I am not "giving my best", I don't care what you think. I am giving my best every day. I am working hard to achieve my simple dreams, and every day trying to Let Go and Let God. I am know I am not perfect, and there is always room for improvement. But I am working hard, none the less. What matters is that I AM happy and proud of myself and feel like I am actually putting forth my best for the first time in my life. I finally feel alive and like I have a life. I am doing it for ME not you! If you don't like my life, tough, focus on your life and not mine! I know God knows the plans for my future and I am just trusting Him as I go on about each day of my life. And that's where I am ending this! I am no longer seeking the approval of others. Just God's and mine!
Comments
Post a Comment